On November 20 I lost my friend, my best man, Ronald. I was on the way to the hospital from work to see him when I received a text message from his son Fian that his dad passed away at 5.17PM. I knew this was coming. We- his friends and family have anticipated this… but not this fast.
February of this year when Ronald/Ron/Bons/Dadi was officially diagnosed of Stage 3 Thoracic Cancer. What a simple headache, some slight difficulty of hearing and a feeling similar to tinnitus, lead us to arrange a doctor’s appointment. Then that was that- a benign tumor that officiated a rigorous chemotherapy and radiation that lasted for nine months. When all we thought he survived cancer as he was told he’s in remission, we were hit by a cold news that his cancer had spread to his spinal cord and meninges after a trip to the emergency because he suddenly couldn’t walk. Our disbeliefs were indescribable. Our sense of peace and gratefulness were short lived- lasted not even two weeks.
Our last getaway together with our other friends. Circa 2007. San Juan La Union.
I’ve known Ronald as long as I’ve known his wife Michelle (she was and still is my best friend as she passed in 2018). Back in the Philippines, in my tiny little apartment was where all we gather. He was our chauffer- he would drive as anywhere the entire crew would go. We have great memories of so many weekend getaways. When I moved to United States in 2007, they followed suit. Though we lived in two different states (I was in Massachusetts while they are in Florida), our friendship which already transcends to being family, stayed stronger. Each time we get the chance, we visit each other. I have visited Florida so many times to see them. I spent many long weekends here, in Deland before finally deciding to permanently move in 2019.
The Labiste’s in Massachusetts in June 2013. Sight-seeing before Bob and I got married. Old Stone Church, West Boylston. .
One of my many visits in Deland with the Labiste’s Circa 2012.
Ronald was a strong man. When his wife was diagnosed with cancer in 2014, I never heard nor seen him complain. He was able to juggle tending to her treatments and personal needs while keeping a full-time job and being a father to Fian all at the same time. For four years he did what he thought was best until she succumbed to her illness in mid 2018.
Ronald was a man of many talents. He and I, like his wife have shared so many great memories. We ride the bike together. He was a great cook. It was from him I learned to cook Japchae (Korean noodle). He played guitar, and I sing the songs. We both love the same genres as we grew up listening to the same bands so he knew what he will play to get me going. On Thursday, November 19th I was in his house with Fian. I was the on-duty friend. He didn’t play guitar- we just listened to Imusic on TV. Oddly enough, James Taylor’s You’ve Got a Friend was the song I only remember playing in retrospect. This was also the last I saw him awake and coherent. We didn’t speak, I only held his hands. I knew in my heart we have understood each other.
One of the images Ronald captured of me while shooting sunrise. Often times I feel that he was a better photographer than myself. Daytona Beach 2019.
I have not shot sunrise in the last five weeks. Sunrise was also significant to me and Ronald since I moved to Florida. He was my sunrise buddy. Not most people (including my husband) like waking up early mornings (my call time is always between 4-5AM). Ronald didn’t mind. If I was lucky, he will drive to the destination too. If I was extra lucky, I get stolen shots of me taking photos from him! He was also a great photographer by the way. The past few days I was scrolling my phone to check where was the most recent sunrise Ronald and I went together (but only found the last was in November 2020 in Flagler Beach) so I could include it here.
As I previously mentioned, my photography has been my way of coping with all the things going on my life- good or bad, happy and sad. The past two weeks has been very difficult as I lost Ronald. Yet I have to compartmentalized my emotions in order to function rightfully. On Thursday, during my day off, I decided to pack my camera and drive to Flagler Beach to begin my healing as part of my grieving process. I thought I would never see the sun as it was totally overcast. I flew my drone and almost lost it and put it away when I found it. I took my camera out and just took shots of the Christmas lights. After over an hour, I decided to head to my car to go home. But as I sat on my seat, and looked outside, there was a brief moment that the sun peeked out of the thick clouds. I pulled my camera out and captured that magical moment the same spot I had the last sunrise with Dadi. Yes I saw the sunrise and it meant I felt his presence once again.
Sunrise with Ronald, Flagler Beach 2020.
Sunrise at Flagler Beach. December 09, 2021