Love is What our Lives’ Journey Worthwhile

Time and time again my husband continue to amaze me with all his wonderful surprises.  This year, in celebration of our 9th year wedding anniversary (seventeen years together), he planned a trip to Yosemite National Park with a side trip to San Francisco.  I normally leave to him the details of our trip as he has more time and patience to look for the places  and things we will venture, then he will ask me to check it out and we will finalize it.   This trip took about four months to plan; and I am glad that finally it happened.

the view of Yosemite National Park from Tunnel View during daylight.

Yosemite National Park. We spent a total of four days in Yosemite National Park with hiking (along with my photography) as our main activity.  On our first day, we took it easy.  We decided to take a light hike at the Lower Falls since we did a long drive from Oakland earlier that day. On the way, the view of El Capitan is the first that we saw. I was in awe; I am sure Bob was too as he kept on saying, “Wow.”  This enormous vertical rock formation is mesmerizing. We took a few photos then drove the road again.  Further inside the park, it was even more captivating. Anywhere you look, are just giant rock formations- one after another.  It was as if we were driving through the garden of the Gods.  This natural wonders are truly majestic. By the end of the day, we have navigated the entire valley- seeing Bridalveil Falls, the Half Dome, and the Cathedral Rock.  We decided to end our first day with a sunset at Tunnel’s View too.

Birds eye view of the Vernal Falls. 2.6 miles up hike.

The second day was our moderate turned difficult hike but full of fun. I will tell you why. Bob chose this trail- the Vernal Falls. The initial trek was a combination of slightly elevated slopes with great sceneries around.  Bob and I both enjoyed this trail as we made frequent stops to take in the beuty of this place (and take pictures too). But what lies ahead after our stop at the foot of the Falls was actually the beginning of all the fun (or not). The ascend was more tedious and rocky. This time more frequent stops to rest. We were also over clothed, which added more fun (insert sarcasm). By the time we reach at the falls we were so hot ( I think it was about 85F) and no longer wearing long sleeves!

We have debated of climbing up pass the falls due to its slippery slopes from the mists of the strong water falls. I also felt that I was physically ill-fitted to proceed. My legs were weak and shaky. Bob for some reason, initially felt the same but changed his mind. He said he wanted to proceed. So we proceeded. The hike was really slippery; and while the sun was really burning us, the mist coming from the falls really helped to cool us down.

The view of the falls from eye level was mesmerizing. But even better when we were on top of it. Along the way we saw many day hikers- individuals, couples, families and groups. All admiring the beauty of this nature. Bob and I also did. I was glad we continued hiking.

The descend  was equally challenging. We tried avoiding the slippery slopes going down so we chose John Muir Trail- a mile longer path. But in order to go down, we have to hike up once again. Halfway, We got a good view of the Nevada  Falls and a bird’s eye view of the Vernal Falls.  Its amazing how small the people look from above. With a lot of switchbacks, we finally got to were we started. This hike was the highlight of our day, and probably our trip too.

Tenaya Lake, Yosemite National Park. June 16, 2022

The third day we drove to less explored part of Yosemite National Park, the Tuolomne Meadows. Unlike yesterday, this part of the park was cold; overcast and matter of fact we had a short episode of snow fleury. In retrospect, we realized that the weather forecast we saw yesterday was probably reflects this part of Yosemite. And guess what, we were also under clothed!  Tuolomne is also nice, but not as grand as the valley.  The best part of the visit to this area was the brief stop at Tenaya Lake ( it was too beautiful and romantic not to take photo so I asked the French couple to take a photo of me and Bob) and the semi-hike to see the giant Sequoias.  We spent more than half of the day in the meadows then drove back to the valley again for another sight seeing.

On our last day I sensed that Bob didn’t want to leave. I also didn’t want to. With a plan to see Yosemite for one more time the night before, we got up early and drove through the park, watched the sunrise for one more time; then we said our goodbyes.  This is such a beautiful park we didn't want to leave behind.

the Half Dome before sunrise during our last day at the park.

iconic cable car at Hyde Street, San Francisco.

San Francisco.  Half of our trip was spent in the unique and diversed city of San Francisco. After we arrived from from Yosemite, we didn’t waste time and started re-discovering the city.  This was my first time here but not Bob’s; when he booked the hotel, he found a Marriott closer by the water that is logistically situated to most of the places we wanted to see. So after we put  our luggages away we headed out and see the Fisherman’s Wharf and Pier 39 (which is right next to each other) where we got a sumptuous seafood lunch.

Walking around the city brought us to Chiradelli Square where the cable cars load and off load commuters and tourists by the corner of Beach and Hyde streets.  We chose to rather hike up the stiff road to Russian Hill than ride the cable car. I felt like I would get to appreciate more the city when I walk and waste no time on queue to hop on the cable car (Yes, there was a long line around the park before you can even enter the cable station).  Bob seemed OK with it.  On our way up, we were smiling as we imagine the SFOans doing these crazy uphill/downhill climb on a daily basis.  From time to time we would stop to take photos of the cable cars passing and the unique Victorian (so I thought) houses around. As we reach the intersection of the famous Lombard Street, that was where we decided to go down and headed to our hotel. It was fun to watch cars navigate the most crooked street in the world!

Chuck and Zhao as we walk to the Ferry Building after a big lunch.

On our second day to San Francisco we took things easy as we we had a lunch appointment with Chuck and Zhao- our friends from Massachusetts that we last saw for almost or more than ten years! So we went To the Vista Point for a quick trip to see the Golden Gate Bridge. I can tell you as the sunshine hits the red painted metal bridge, it look so beautiful. I couldn’t hide my admiration, and I couldn’t help but compare it to my favorite Brooklyn Bridge- both are great pieces of architecture and realized that they are incomparable.  The Golden Gate Bridge is massive. We drove to Battery Spencer- the other side of the park to see the bridge on a higher angle, spent another hour battling the wind and the sun- then we decided to head back to the hotel and get ready for our lunch appointment.

Chuck and Zhao chose a Thai restaurant over the financial district. Our lunch was filled of catching up, updates and stories about our past lives in Massachusetts while savoring our Thai food. Time went by fast, we decided to walk across the Ferry Station and did a bit more of sightseeing, and walking inside the farmer’s market until we all hug and said our goodbyes. Bob and I did some more walking to China Town (and I bought my roasted duck dinner too😊), to  Washington Square Park where we found two churches- one of them is the National Shrine of St. Francis Basilica; then finally to our hotel and rest. That was that for the day.

playing tourist at Napa Valley.

We left early the following day for our planned trip to Napa Valley.  As we got there, we decided to go at V. Sattui Winery. Napa seems a great place to wine and cheese, but I should say not practical. Bob and I decided to just buy a bottle of wine and a few cheese and sat by the nice garden overlooking the vineyard and enjoyed both.  We did a short drive by and headed back to the city. At night, we went to the Palace of Fine Arts. 

On our last day in San Francisco we did a few more of sightseeing including the Painted Ladies and the famous LGBTQI community of San Francisco, Castro District- we will miss the pride parade as it was set for the next week.  That night, we flew back to Florida with a heavy heart that our vacation is over but excited to see or fur babies.

the famous Painted Ladies- the line of Victorian houses In the city.

the giant Sequoia tree at Tuolumne Grove.

As I write this blog, there is currently a wild fire in Mariposa County.  It is so close to Yosemite National Park and is threatening a few giant Sequoias.  It is only ten percent contained at this point and I can only hope that this fire gets put off soon. While Bob and I are saddened with this news, in retrospect we were so lucky to see these natural wonders before our eyes this past June. My husband plans every trip we had so well and I am proud to say, almost in perfect time. Such an amazing getaway for our ninth year wedding anniversary.

Love is what our lives  journey worthwhile, and I am grateful that I get to enjoy it with him.

LAX and Joshua Tree National Park

Day 1.

Last month was my first solo travel of this year. It was supposed to be a trip with my cousin’s son and  daughter, but our schedules (to go together) fell through. It was late to cancel pre-bookings I made and Bob has prior appointments and so, here I was traveling solo. 

I took a non-stop flight from Orlando to LA. The flight was a little over five hours; smooth and uneventful. When I landed to LA at 10AM, I went straight to pick up my rental car and to my Marriott hotel reservation in Sta. Monica to check in. After freshening up, I started checking out the area.  I ended up finding Will Rogers Beach along side Sta. Monica/Malibu town line.  It was a beautiful one. This is when I decided I will check the sunset at a later time.

By the time I left the beach it was only 130pm and I wasn’t really that hungry. I decided to check Solstice Canyon- a nearby trail, and decided to have my first hike.  It started fair- mostly flat in the beginning; but the second part was a lot of up hill climb.  The view is at the top was amazing. I wish Bob was with me with this one, specially on the descend as I can see the pacific ocean on the horizon. That was such a fun hike.

By the time I got to the parking lot in my rental car, I was starving.  This trip has been costly so I decided to go low key with food. At least for now.  I got a sushi lunch and headed to Malibu to wait for my sunset. Meanwhile I was enjoying my sushi in my car. I took some good shots here until I decided to head back to my hotel and freshen up. After an hour, I went back outside.  Night was early, but I was too tired so after some few night shots- I decided to go back to my room and call the night. Tomorrow is another day. 

Day 2.

I am not sure if its my excitement or my body clock, but I ended up tossing and turning the night and probably hasn’t slept at all. I was having a second thought to go out for the sunrise, as I was tired but I was glad I did. I can say that Sta. Monica has a beautiful sunrise too despite the fact that the sun rises behind all the beautiful views. I think I had better composition that morning and pretty much explored the areas before it gets crowded when I decided to go back to my hotel. At this point, I felt sleepy and decided to take power nap. The day is young and I have a long way to travel to Joshua Tree. 

a silhouette of Joshua Tree after sunset. Keys View Point, Joshua Tree National Park.

I woke up after more than an hour of a nap and started getting ready. I packed my bags and once done, I checked out, grabbed my car and turned the navigation and started driving to Joshua Tree. 

Halfway my destination, I had a random thought of my few colleagues that moved from Connecticut to California. While driving I-10E I noticed  a sign to “Ontario Airport.”  I remembered one of my colleagues in CT when he moved to CA and told me if you ever visit me in CA fly in to Ontario Airport.  So I called him and luckily he was at home.  I made a brief detour and caught up with him- invited if he wanted to join me in my adventure to which he didn’t decline. Then off we go  to Joshua Tree National Park. 

My experience of California is limited to LA and San Diego only.  I have never been further inland. The drive to Joshua Tree National Park was fascinating itself. I feel like I am truly appreciating California more.  After almost two and a half hour drive, I had a glimpse of the Joshua couple of miles before the park’s main entrance. 

My friend and I drove the park together while equally admiring the trees and the rock formations. Took many stops to shoot photos.  WE ended up waiting at Keys View, which is about 8 miles from the main park road, to witness the sunset. I am glad we did, as I had the best shot of a Joshua Tree here. 

After the sun had set, we continued driving, stopping and taking photos.  I was quite disappointed that it was never a new moon to shoot the Milky Way, but the night stars has been great as it is. 

WE stayed about 9-10 PM at the park until we finally decided to leave and grab dinner.  My hotel reservation is another 20 miles, and that was a bit challenge to drive some more. 

Day 3.

Though I didn’t want to wake up early, but I have to bring my friend back his home before 11 so I got up and got ready. By 645 we hit the road again to Chino, CA. AT Richard’s home I finally met his wife briefly as the were in a rush to go to a funeral.  AS I left, I decided to check out the nearby Planes of Fame Air Museum.  The young Jun in me reminiscing that once when I was younger, I dreamed of becoming a pilot.  Two hours later, I was off to Alhambra, CA to meet with my other friend. 

Dette is actually Michelle’s friend, but since she passed away in 2018, Dette and I bonded too.  It was nice to meet her family- her kids and mom- for the first time. They are very nice to accommodate me. Michelle and I had planned on this trip but never came into fruition. I am sure she’s happy that it happened even with out her. Dette and her husband were so hospitable to give me a tour of downtown LA- they brought me to Griffith Observatory, LACMA and the Museum of cars. I have so much in my to do lists for short period of time. Once in the car, tiredness hit me and fell asleep. It was then that we decided to go home. 

Day 4.

I must have slept so deep that when I woke up,  the sun is already up. Its time for me to get ready, yet again. After I chatted briefly with Dette and her Mom, I took a shower and packed my bag again..  Now I am heading to my cousin Yolly. I have not seen her since 2010- my last visit to LA. I wonder how she’s been? We plan to visit another cousin in Irvine. 

It was Sunday, and didn’t expect that LA traffic could be worse. But it was pretty heavy in the freeway.  After a little over an hour of driving I arrived to my cousin’s house.  It was nice to see both Jerry and Yolanda after more than a decade. I can’t wait to see all my nephews and niece too… I tried to refresh for a bit and then off we go to Irvine. We made a couple of stops along the way to eat and to have a dessert! Shortly after we were at Memang’s door and having a good laugh. Short visit to her but it is nice to see her too. 

After visiting my cousin Memang, we decided to head back home and rested for a bit.  Then went back out again to Calabasas  to meet with Franchesca- Yolanda’s only daughter. We all had dinner then after an hour long chit chats and catching up, we decided to go home. I have been so exhausted from all the driving and so I headed to shower. I said my goodnight to my cousin and nephew after, and called it a night.  

the landscape at Malibu Creek Trail.

Day 5.

I planned to be at Getty’s Musuem on my last day here in LA but unfortunately the place was close. So i made a 180degree turn and headed to Calabasas one more time.  With my All Trails App I found the Malibu Creek Trail and decided to do one more hike before I go back home to Florida. 

I wasn’t really sure what to expect in this trip except that the moment I pulled into the parking lot, I was already flabbergasted with its beauty. 

I made about 4 miles of trekking and see the beautiful Malibu Creek. Along the way I just couldn’t stop admiring the landscapes of this place. The different colors of the rocks and mountains, the spring flowers blooming, the serenity of the place. It’s just awesome. I guess  the trade off of visiting the museum if not fair enough, was actually a lot better. I stopped my exploration when I  reached the site of the 80’s popular show MASH. By then I decided to head  back. It was about 2pm when I finally got to my car. On the way to my cousin’s home, I had a quick lunch- ate Mediterranean salad from nook bar and drove home. 

Before I went to the airport, Yolanda and Jerry brought me to a nearby restaurant and had final dinner. Then I was off to LAX. Over all, it was a great and fun 5- day visit.

Friends and Family that I visited in this trip. Top: Dette and her husband. Bottom Left: Richard- my old colleague from CT. Bottom Right: my cousins- Yolanda and Memang.

Did I Fill the World with Love my Whole Life Through?

There was a song when I was young which lyrics I still remember and would sing whenever it crosses my mind. It was my grade school graduation song. I found the lyrics more philosophical when I read them now than back then- when it is more of just a song and a melody.

Salut! to the perfect Valentine’s weekend with my favorite husband in the world!

Bob and I celebrated Valentines early this time as I was working on the 14th. We decided to spend a quick getaway to St. Petersburg in Florida for the weekend. and once again, this man is able to pull a surprise when he booked a private boat ride to watch a sunset off the coast of Gulf of Mexico.  As we enjoy some wine while watching the sun setting, our captain (Mike) said how he enjoys being out in the waters and thankful that every day he is able to experience and appreciate nature.  While this statement is not new, the manner he said it, was what caught me- for some reason, it reminded me of the last version of my graduation song:

In the evening of my life, I shall look to the sunset.

At a moment in my life when the night is due.

And the question I shall ask only I can answer.

Was I brave and strong and true?

Did I fill the world with love my whole life through?

Mike’s words somehow made me reflect at that moment on how lucky I was to experience so many things in life all because of love.  Perfect timing for the lyrics of the song as we were witnessing a beautiful sun setting.  Truly, having a partner like him I can only have so much gratitude. He does fill my life.

a thank you note from my patient’s family.

I would like to believe that Bob and I have transcended the way we celebrate Valentine’s Day beyond flowers and chocolates (though he still buys me some occasionally, like last night).  Most recently, we invest more of our time to meaningful experiences. And when I say meaningful experiences, I meant both the things Bob and I enjoy doing together like our adventures and travels, and the things we also do apart yet connect us deeply. Bob is both proponent of love for the animals and the environment so he spends some time volunteering and advocating for their betterment. I 100% support him on this. Meanwhile, I work as a nurse. The last three years may have been mentally, physically and emotionally challenging due to the pandemic, but that doesn’t prevent me from doing what I love most- helping someone heal their pain- emotional and physical. Recently I received a personal thank you note from a family member whose Dad I took care of. This kind of unexpected kudos sometimes is the only thing I need to validate that I did something good for someone. Doing my part in filling our world with love and tenderness.  

Happy Valentine’s Day! 

~~~~~~~~~

Fill the World with Love by Petula Clark 

In the morning of my life I shall look to the sunrise.
At a moment in my life when the world is new.
And the blessing I shall ask is that God will grant me,
To be brave and strong and true,
And to fill the world with love my whole life through.
(Chorus)
And to fill the world with love
And to fill the world with love
And to fill the world with love my whole life through

In the noontime of my life I shall look to the sunshine,
At a moment in my life when the sky is blue.
And the blessing I shall ask shall remain unchanging.
To be brave and strong and true,
And to fill the world with love my whole life through
(Chorus)

In the evening of my life I shall look to the sunset,
At a moment in my life when the night is due.
And the question I shall ask only I can answer.
Was I brave and strong and true?
Did I fill the world with love my whole life through?

New Year Reflections: The Past 2021 and Plans for 2022

Last sunrise photography of the year. Taken at Marineland, Palm Coast, FL 12.31.2021 at 6.17AM

 I took a short time off from work since January 2nd. Our original plan of going away for a short trip to Charleston fell through since Bob started not feeling well Sunday night. In a short notice, we have cancelled all our reservations. Better safe than sorry as we speak. With nothing to do except stay home and be separated from my isolated husband, I started putting away the decors from Christmas holiday and cleaning up the house in detail- purging and disposing items I no longer use and need but collected and held overtime.  After all, it’s the new year- out with the old as they say; it’s a good way to start. 

Items I piled up while decluttering the garage. Ready for Goodwill donations.

 While trying to accomplish the chores I started, I couldn’t help but replay the past year in my mind. 2021 certainly came… and poof! It’s gone. Though it went by so quickly, I have so much to be grateful for the past year.  It was a year of another survival, self-discovery, reconnections, re-learning, heartbreak, and letting go. Covid is almost now on its third year, and it doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon, so I just have to endure and protect myself and my love ones from it in any possible way I can. Exhausting; but that is all I can do for now. Last year, Bob and I started hiking mountains again. It is something we used to love and do when we live across Mt. Wachusett in Princeton, Massachusetts but somehow got lost from moving to Cape Cod and with the busy schedules we both have. We made few hiking trips to Colorado, North Carolina and the Adirondacks in 2021. And when all the good things are going right as they should, I was devastated the last quarter of 2021 as I lost another close friend from cancer. More like a family, he was one of my few long-standing ones; we’ve been friends half my age so that was really heart breaking in my part. His passing brought good thing though- our common friend whom I am estranged with for a few years now, is back on speaking terms again. For that, I am thankful. Through out the past year I met new people from work, from playing volleyball and from social media- some I keep because their friendship is genuine and sincere; some I have to let go for our values do not align.  You win some, you lose some I guess. All in all, in deed it was a year of roller coaster ride of experiences and emotions, but all experiences- pleasant and unpleasant- for me are learning curves. Always.

As we enter 2022, my goal is to focus on the greatest opportunities life will bring. Health is one and always been the top priorities for both Bob and I. Then relationships- for him and I, our families; and all the friends and people we care for. As for myself, to be a better version of who I was from last year. All the rest will follow. 

 Happy New Year 2022!

Bird’s eye view of Summer Haven Beach in St. Augustine, FL. First fly for 2022 with my drone. Still in the learning curve on this one.

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.” -Edith Lovejoice Pierce

Homage to Ronald

On November 20 I lost my friend, my best man, Ronald. I was on the way to the hospital from work to see him when I received a text message from his son Fian that his dad passed away at 5.17PM.  I knew this was coming. We- his friends and family have anticipated this… but not this fast.  

 February of this year when Ronald/Ron/Bons/Dadi was officially diagnosed of Stage 3 Thoracic Cancer.  What a simple headache, some slight difficulty of hearing and a feeling similar to tinnitus, lead us to arrange a doctor’s appointment. Then that was that- a benign tumor that officiated a rigorous chemotherapy and radiation that lasted for nine months. When all we thought he survived cancer as he was told he’s in remission, we were hit by a cold news that his cancer had spread to his spinal cord and meninges after a trip to the emergency because he suddenly couldn’t walk. Our disbeliefs were indescribable. Our sense of peace and gratefulness were short lived- lasted not even two weeks. 

Our last getaway together with our other friends. Circa 2007. San Juan La Union.

 I’ve known Ronald as long as I’ve known his wife Michelle (she was and still is my best friend as she passed in 2018).  Back in the Philippines, in my tiny little apartment was where all we gather. He was our chauffer- he would drive as anywhere the entire crew would go. We have great memories of so many weekend getaways. When I moved to United States in 2007, they followed suit.  Though we lived in two different states (I was in Massachusetts while they are in Florida), our friendship which already transcends to being family, stayed stronger. Each time we get the chance, we visit each other. I have visited Florida so many times to see them.  I spent many long weekends here, in Deland before finally deciding to permanently move in 2019. 

The Labiste’s in Massachusetts in June 2013. Sight-seeing before Bob and I got married. Old Stone Church, West Boylston. .

One of my many visits in Deland with the Labiste’s Circa 2012.

Ronald was a strong man. When his wife was diagnosed with cancer in 2014, I never heard nor seen him complain.  He was able to juggle tending to her treatments and personal needs while keeping a full-time job and being a father to Fian all at the same time.  For four years he did what he thought was best until she succumbed to her illness in mid 2018. 

Ronald was a man of many talents.  He and I, like his wife have shared so many great memories.  We ride the bike together. He was a great cook. It was from him I learned to cook Japchae (Korean noodle).   He played guitar, and I sing the songs.  We both love the same genres as we grew up listening to the same bands so he knew what he will play to get me going.  On Thursday, November 19th I was in his house with Fian. I was the on-duty friend.  He didn’t play guitar- we just listened to Imusic on TV. Oddly enough, James Taylor’s You’ve Got a Friend was the song I only remember playing in retrospect. This was also the last I saw him awake and coherent. We didn’t speak, I only held his hands. I knew in my heart we have understood each other.  

One of the images Ronald captured of me while shooting sunrise. Often times I feel that he was a better photographer than myself. Daytona Beach 2019.

 I have not shot sunrise in the last five weeks.  Sunrise was also significant to me and Ronald since I moved to Florida.  He was my sunrise buddy.  Not most people (including my husband) like waking up early mornings (my call time is always between 4-5AM).  Ronald didn’t mind.  If I was lucky, he will drive to the destination too. If I was extra lucky, I get stolen shots of me taking photos from him! He was also a great photographer by the way.  The past few days I was scrolling my phone to check where was the most recent sunrise Ronald and I went together (but only found the last was in November 2020 in Flagler Beach) so I could include it here. 

As I previously mentioned, my photography has been my way of coping with all the things going on my life- good or bad, happy and sad.  The past two weeks has been very difficult as I lost Ronald.  Yet I have to compartmentalized my emotions in order to function rightfully. On Thursday, during my day off, I decided to pack my camera and drive to Flagler Beach to begin my healing as part of my grieving process. I thought I would never see the sun as it was totally overcast. I flew my drone and almost lost it and put it away when I found it. I took my camera out and just took shots of the Christmas lights. After over an hour, I decided to head to my car to go home. But as I sat on my seat, and looked outside, there was a brief moment that the sun peeked out of the thick clouds. I pulled my camera out and captured that magical moment the same spot I had the last sunrise with Dadi. Yes I saw the sunrise and it meant I felt his presence once again.

Sunrise with Ronald, Flagler Beach 2020.

Sunrise at Flagler Beach. December 09, 2021

Colorado Part 2

This is the second of the two-part blog of our trip from Colorado. I hope you enjoy reading this one just like you enjoyed reading the first part.😊

Day 4. 

I am still stoked and I can say that yesterday was the highlight of our trip. After all, the rafting is what drew us to come to Colorado…

We have been making our breakfast in our unit every day, and today we have to really load up. We will hike a long trail today. I have two eggs over easy and the left-over Chinese food we ordered the other night for breakfast so I don’t feel hungry as we climb. Bob had some eggs sunny side up.

Flying the drone on the Meadow Mountain. Behind us is the the snowcapped Colorado rockies.

We left for Minturn after Breakfast and started the long trek at Meadow Mountain Trail.  It’s about a 1000ft elevation, with so many switch backs to walk through so that makes the hike a bit long. It is over-looking I-70 highway at the beginning of the hike so it somehow give us the scale of how high we were during the hike. When about almost halfway on the top, it is when we saw the true beauty of the trail. Behind us is a showcase of the snowcapped peak of the Rocky Mountains. It’s such a breath-taking scenery up there!  It is a beautiful meadow- the alpine trees, the dilapidated abandoned house in the pasture the rock formations... all I can do is admire. 

Bob and I rested on a slab of rock for a while and munched with our granola bars. At one point, because we love Outlander the series so much, we joked about being able to time travel by pressing on the rocks, just like the main character in the series.  It was a fun hike; and because of this Bob and I are considering doing hiking on a regular basis. We stayed probably another thirty minutes sitting on the rocks until we finally started descending. 

After almost a half day trek, we headed to Vail Main Street to eat lunch. There were very few open places to eat, so we ended up getting light lunch from Swiss Chalet Restaurant; an upscale but it’s a penny well spent. I had Bruschetta and French Onion Soup- both were mouthwatering, but I am going to tell you, I never devoured a soup like I did this one which gave me blisters (because it was so hot! Yet so good..) the following day. 

After that delightful lunch, we headed back to the hotel and rested. We called it a day; relaxed watched movie and slept. 

Day 5.

Day 5 was our last full day in Colorado. We decided to explore another place we’ve never been- Steamboat Springs. We spent some time with our usual morning routine for breakfast- cooked some eggs, toasted bread and reheated whatever is left over; after that, we got ready.  By 9-930ish we were already on the road.  Our drive was slowed down by the traffic in I-70 for about fifteen minutes. As we passed by, another truck was turned upside down and caught on fire.  I thought for a while that beauty has its price- while this road is such a splendid to travel to, it also has its downside- this really is an accident-prone road because of its winding, uphill and downhill structures. I am glad that we exited the road sooner than I thought.  

Finger Rocks in Yampa.

It wasn’t long enough that as we started navigating Highway 131- I felt this is another exhilarating road to drive. It’s a mini-version of I70- beautiful, but winding and also uphill and downhill. While I admire its landscape, I also noticed that there were no railings o some parts of the road. I told Bob that this reminded me of our drive to Mt. Washington in New Hampshire; he joked if I had started praying my rosary, to which I replied that he should focus driving.🤣 Briefly on our drive there was an area of the road that seemed to look like a gorge. And while we were both fascinated, I reiterated to be extra careful steering the wheels. 

There is a town named Yampa that we passed with an amazing, boulder similar to, once again- Outlander. Somehow, I caught a glimpse of the name-Finger Rock.  I googled and found a brief description of what it is- a volcanic plug. I took a picture of it. 

Shortly after, we arrived at Steamboat Springs.  It is a quaint town but we didn’t really have the chance to explore its Main St. as our main purpose was to see and hike Fish Creek Falls and Trail.  We only drove by it.  

Fish Creek Falls at long exposure.

As we parked our car and started walking to the falls, we can already hear the sound of the water.  It is kind of refreshing when we saw it.  It is gorgeous! I set up my camera for long exposure shots and spent some time both taking photos and just admiring.  Not always we see Falls. The last I saw one was when I went back in the Philippines in 2019.  And the last Bob and I saw one was during our trip to Niagara in 2018; so, this one is a treat. By the side of the falls there is a 5-mile hike in a 2000ft elevation.  We decided to do some of it and not finish the entire hike as we were (probably) still sore from yesterday’s hike at Meadow Mountain.  After probably an hour trekking, we went back to the car.  

We briefly paid a visit to this beautiful, perhaps newly renovated Holy Name Catholic Church in Main St.- say our prayers and thanks, then headed for a lunch at Backdoor Grill.  I am proud to say that I had my first Bison Burger🍔. After lunch, we dreaded our two hour drive back to our hotel admiring again the beauty of this winding, uphill and downhill highway.  When we got back at the hotel, we rested for a few, and decided to eat Hawaiian for our last dinner in Avon.  We both have Tuna Poke Bowl.  After dinner, we drove around town for one more time.  The admiration for Beaver Creek is well beyond descriptions- the money, its beauty, and the landscape.  It’s just beautiful. After more than 30 minutes driving around an off-season ski resort, we decided to head back to the hotel and started packing for tomorrow is the “travel back home” day.

Day 6.

Bob wanted to leave early so we woke up early.  Witnessing so much accidents on the road the past days, we didn’t really want to stress ourselves on the possibility of missing our flight while stuck on a traffic because of road accidents, so we allowed plenty of time on our way back to Denver.  After breakfast, we checked out and started our 130-mile scenic journey to the airport.  So long Colorado! We will come back sooner. 

Bob walking ahead of me on Fish Creek Trail.

Colorado Part 1

I started chronicling Bob and I’s six day trip to Colorado from the time we left home like a journal. I didn’t want to miss some great details thus it became such a long post/blog so I decided to divide it into two parts so I don’t bore you.

Two weeks ago, a month after Bob and I celebrated our birthdays, we finally have our “alone time.” What originally planned as the Maui, HI trip, we decided to change it to Colorado instead. Up to this point, even when we are both vaccinated, we would like to think that Covid-19 is still out there and we can still both get the virus, so we re-considered the travel time we will be on the plane along with other passengers (even we are all masked up) and decided that short flight times are better... so Colorado here we come!

 The flight from Orlando to Denver was great. We arrived ten minutes ahead of time. What lagged us behind was getting the rental car. It took us 90 minutes between being in the line to pick the car and getting out of the parking lot. By the time we were on the main road its almost 2pm. 

I-70E to Vail. This one of the most scenic highways Bob and I drove to.

 Bob and I were so happy to drive to great sceneries again. The 130-mile trip to our destination went unnoticed because we were both admiring the mountains left and right. As we navigate an uphill and downhill I-70E, we both reminisced our other trips with similar roads- The I-15 from Las Vegas to Kanab, UT and the Kancamangus Highway in New Hampshire.  This conversation brought smile to my face so I held his right hand briefly while the other was driving.  It is nice that together, we get to do again the things we love most. The drive made me really happy (and hungry).😊

 Though Bob has been to Colorado before, this is both our first time to be in Avon/Vail area so we are both excited.  The almost half-day driving made us very tired; and what originally planned visiting the Benedictine monks on night 1, we elected to do the following day instead.  Day 1 was basically a travel and rest day… eat and sleep.

Remnants of the trees caught on forest fire that affected Glenwood Canyons in 2020.

Day 2.

The next day was meant for just visiting St. Benedict’s Church in Snowmass since we were tired the night we arrived. But in between, we stopped at the rest area at Glenwood Springs. It is beautiful; it is attached to Grizzly Creek Park with hiking trail. With nothing concretely planned other than to see the monks, we decided to go for a hike.  As we navigate the trail, it was refreshing to hear the stream from the creek, but we were saddened to see the forest charred from the fire that previously caught a massive area of Glenn Springs Canyon which includes Grizzly Creek Park. As we walk further, the devastations were evident.  Bob told me he could still smell the burnt trees.  The good thing is that, we see life thriving and slowly coming back.  We also see a lot of people still hiking the trail.

After more than an hour exploring Grizzly Creek trail, we decided to head back to our car and proceeded to our destination. My admiration with I-70 continued- it is just a beautiful road. When we entered Snowmass and the road that leads to the church, there is a farm that we assumed owns by the monks. From the unpaved road you can see St Benedict’s Church from afar with the mountains on the back draft. At this point I am running out of adjective to describe the place, but all I can say is its beautiful. We stopped and took some photos. When we finally got to the church, it was closed- and only the bookstore that was open but no person around. We ended up just going around the area and look- unfortunately, there wasn’t much. It was then we decide to head back to our hotel. 

St. Benedict’s Church in Snowmass. What a picturesque church just looking from a far.

Day 3.

On our third day we planned the morning for a short hike in Cross Creek Trail in Minturn- about 10 miles west of Avon, where we are staying. This is an old mining town, and it was both our first time to see a mining pipe that extends miles. The hike was pretty good.  Along the way I was educated by Bob of what I thought a Birch tree, but actually an Aspen. They look pretty similar in my opinion. We also got the chance to see Minturn from above. We turned back after an hour as we have to drive another hour for our next planned activity. The best part about this trail is that its so close to the creek, that you can clearly hear the water ravishing. I quote Bob, “this is actually refreshing.”

The aerial view of Minturn, CO halfway on top of Cross Creek Trail.

 After the morning hike, we stopped briefly at the hotel, then drove aagain to Glennwood Springs for the highlight of this trip- White water rafting in Colorado River. 

We arrived to the meeting place early and this gives us the opportunity to explore the area. We finally decided to just hang out by the river and see other rafters and kayakers. When it’s our time, we went to the bleacher and met up with other rafters. We drove up nine miles to the offloading area. Our guide Thomas briefed us one more time on how we should paddle, and one by one we climbed to our assigned seat.

White river rafting in Colorado River is such a great experience.

 I’ve done kayaking and canoeing but not water rafting. Bob did in Maine and he shared the fun stuff with me. This made me excited as we raft through the river.  The first two miles of the approximately nine-mile Shoshone rapids is the most exhilarating (I didn’t feel scared I swear!). The forward and backward paddles were in full command in order for the raft not to flip.  Then the next few miles are combinations of smooth and mild rafts.  As we navigate the river with Glenwood Canyons in full display, I am glad that our guide is well-versed about the area and we learn more about it- the caves, the Jessie James stories, the old I-70 trail, the only man lived on the left side of the river, the mountain goats and the fire that it suffered last year.  We have better appreciation of the canyon too as we navigate the river slower than when we are driving through it- most specifically the horseshoe bend, where the water flows peacefully and for a moment away from the road.  As we finished the raft, we were both exhausted but had so much fun! We ended the trip by having dinner at Smoked Barbecue in Glenwood Springs while we are passing time to kill the traffic created by two trucks that flipped over at I-70. After dinner we drove back to the hotel and rested.  Tomorrow will be another day.

a long exposure shot of the Fish Creek Falls in Steamboat, Co

Utah

Warning:  This is a long read! The blog is divided into 3 parts- feel free to pause at each part and continue as you enjoy reading this entry. :-)

Part One.

I have never gone on a trip with friends alone for so long.  The last I recall was a decade ago in Shenandoah Valley in Virginia; a few weeks after my mom’s passing. But earlier this year, an unexpected friendship was formed between myself, James and Buddy and an impromptu trip to visit Buddy in Utah happened two weeks ago. 

James, Buddy and I checking out Park City Mountain Resort for the first time.

A little Background of our friendship: James and I are workmates and became friends. We both first met Buddy when our common friend invited us to play volley ball with them.  The friendship didn’t develop instantaneously; but over time we formed a common bond. When Buddy left sometime in January in pursuit of his own purpose, James and I told him that we will see him wherever he maybe. And so not long enough, we found ourselves on the plane to Utah. 

 I’ve only been to Utah briefly once- in Kanab in 2010; but neither in Salt Lake or Park City let alone Moab. As our plane landed in Salt Lake City, I can’t help but just simply admire its landscape:  the snow-capped mountains are everywhere! Buddy met us at the conveyor as James picked his checked in luggage. Then all three of us headed to our first destination, the first part of our trip. 

 Park City and the many firsts. Park City, UT (Park City Mountain Resort) is known for its famous ski slopes; after all, it was the site of two 2002 winter Olympic events.  And for the three of us, it was our first time to be here. After we checked in our hotel, we headed to the ski resort to confirm our reservations for our ski and snow boarding activities the following day. On the way I was still admiring the landscapes and still can’t believe that this trip was actually happening. After hours of checking out the area, dinner and trips to the stores, we ended the night with a toast of wines and beers at the hotel’s bar. 

Early birds at the trail. All three of us prepping for our ski and snow boarding adventure!

 We woke up early the following day and get started. James and Buddy are going to snow board, while I stuck myself to a ski lesson as this was my first. My class didn’t start until 9 that morning and Buddy and James already scouted and tried the slope as soon as we got there at almost 8am. By mid-day, I realized I wasn’t the only one busting my ass off learning this new sport, but Buddy as well. James perhaps, was the only one enjoying all these shenanigans. Around 1PM we all got back together, and drove to the hotel and enjoyed the hot tub while exchanging our ski and snowboarding adventures mishafts. I told them that I may have fallen more than twenty-five times and my butt was literally sore! (and the hot tub has been the best part of the day so far). We all just laugh.  After a quick relaxation, we headed back for the afternoon session.  I have made up my mind that I am done for the day as my butt was sore, my legs were still wobbly, and my feet were no longer happy. As for the two, they continued their adventure.  But shortly after, Buddy joined me as he felt he had injured his leg.  We ended up waiting for James for two hours; and as we checked out, guess who forgot his shoes at the hotel room and walked with just his socks on? 

Park City Main Street on a Friday night.

 We headed back to our hotel room and changed; and once again enjoyed the hot tub. After some relaxing hour at the tub, we opened a bottle of wine as we chill some more and retold our day’s adventure.  By evening, we decided to explore Park City’s Main Street. It was beautiful at night too.  I wasn’t sure if it was just because its Friday, but the town was packed.  We couldn’t tell who’s local and who’s visitors like us.  And with multiple attempts to land a decent dinner, we realized fast that we need reservations in order to get a dinner table. We ended up in mom & pop’s pizza place; and at that point we couldn’t care less as we were all starving. WE continued the rest of our night in our hotel room, with more wine and CupcakKes (not the food)- also another first to hear her music. That night, once again I felt like I was back in college. 

Summit Meadows Adventure at Park City where we had our first snow mobile experience.

The following day we woke up later than we did the previous day. Surprisingly with no hangover.  Since we have no other plans until the afternoon, we spent most of the day in the hotel relaxing after a nice local artisan breakfast at Bartolo’s. By two o’clock, we headed out for our next adventure of the day- snowmobiling. This is Buddy and I’s first ride with a snowmobile and I am glad that I didn’t rent the mobile on my own and I will explain why. As soon as we get to Summit Meadows Adventure, we checked in and waited briefly and was brought to choose our snow mobiles along with other adventure-seekers.  Then I said to myself, “there is no way I will be able to handle a 2,000lbs machine by my feather weight!” 

All three of us at the meadows.. before all the fun started!

Buddy and I decided to just rent one snow mobile and I will just be his passenger prior driving to the summit.  I am glad we decided that way because as soon as Buddy started the engine, he was in full throttle.  With my butt still sore from all the falls I endured from skiing, here comes another challenge for it- the million bumps during the ride! While Buddy felt like he was James Bond driving the snowmobile in full speed, I felt like Victor Espinoza riding his horse as fast as he can to win the Kentucky Derby. Only thing was, I was just a rider and not a jockey. Meanwhile, James was having the time of his life.  He was actually riding behind us to make sure we were doing ok until he met an uneven area and he was thrown out of his snow mobile.  That split-second made us worried, until he got up, walked and jumped back into his mobile.  He said he was OK and then we were all back to driving.  The trail we trudged was winding, steep and quite frankly, beautiful but so dangerous.  Mid way to our trip we had to briefly stop because of the snow storm too but that passed quickly. Over all, it was a fun-filled ride.  Thanks to my James “Buddy” Bond! 

Our last night at Park City was spent with fine Thai cuisine dinner and another college-like session of drinking and CuppcakKes. The next day, we headed to the next leg of this journey with a side trip to Spanish Fork, UT where Buddy showed us the farm he volunteered. 

The AC Hotel in Park City. Our home for 4 days and 3 nights. The hot tub is the best part of this trip!

James and Buddy being playful at this vandalized and abandoned building.

Part Two.

Moab: An enchanting place. 

We travelled in a winding but beautiful mountain roads for almost four hours to be in Moab. We made a quick stop to Elmo, UT and took an unnamed road that brought us to a scenic and what we presumed an abandoned school in an old mining site. A bit eerie, but we investigated the place anyway then decided to head back to the main road and continued driving to where we going. 

It was mid-afternoon when we got to Moab town line and we decided to just hit the Arches National Park before heading to our Air BnB to check in. As we slowed down the park’s entrance to get our ticket, I was astonished by the formation of the red rocks presented right before my eyes.  Speechless. The last I saw red rocks was back in 2015 when I first visited Sedona with Bob. I was in awe that time and still, is in awe seeing these once again.  The only difference now is that, the sun was making the colors pop. 

Slowly we drove and our eyes could not stop admiring the beauty of what nature was offering us.  We stopped to see first the Park Avenue Arch, then the Courthouse Tower’s view point (took some photos with my models), and to Balance Rock. It was getting late and we are getting tired, so we decided to end our first Arches adventure after we hiked the North and South Window Arches and the Turett Arch. 

The scenic Park Avenue. Our first stop.

Hot tub was the next best thing ever happened and all three of us agreed!

Finally, we got to our AirBnB. This place did not disappoint. As we unpacked our overnight bags, we also started drinking wine and hit the hot tub. The hot tub has been our best friend since Park City; nothing eases the exhaustion brought by the activities we had and Buddy’s long drive than the hot tub (and the many glasses of wine). Then we took a break from that to grab a quick dinner downtown. Then back again to the hot tub. I don’t exactly remember how the night ended, but when we woke up it was another day. 

Aerial shot of the Mill Creek. Makes the three of us feel like we landed In Mars.

 We finally got to see what Moab downtown looked on a daylight as we started the second day of our adventure.  It is a quaint town, but also looks isolated.  We decided to check the Mill Creek Waterfall before heading to the Arches again, but it was an epic fail. In the beginning of the trail we followed the path, but somehow we lost it.  We ended up a valley on a hill admiring the panoramic Mill Creek view instead.  I flew my drone and shot a quick video of the three of us- in my mind I was singing Waterfalls by TLC.; the closest we got to the elusive waterfall. 

Skyline Arch.

The hikes at the Arches National Park continued after our waterfall snafu.  For another three hours we hiked the Sand Dune, Skyline, Devil’s Garden and Landscape Arches (unfortunately, we didn’t make it to the Delicate Arches as it requires 2 more hours of hike).  After moments of admiring the natural beauty of these arches, we decided it was time to head back to the car.   There are so much more to see but not enough time.  At some point we will be back here for sure. And just like that, we were on our way to our last and final destination. 

Part Three.

Salt Lake City. 

After almost four hours of driving from Moab (including stops) we arrived to Salt Lake City. 

 It was almost sunset after we checked in the hotel, James and I decided to head out and see the city while we gave Buddy a time to rest.  As we walked towards the temple of the Church of the Latter-day Saints, I noticed that there weren’t so many people hustling and bustling the streets.   It’s a bit odd that a big city like Salt Lake is pretty laid back. It isn’t like the big cities I’ve been to that you’ll bump elbow to elbow; but it’s also still pandemic- and admire Utah for being so obedient of the mask mandate. 

 Two things we checked out: the temple of the Church of the Latter-Day Saints and the State Capitol. The church is under major renovation and is not open for public.  Though you can roam around the perimeter, we didn’t see much as I hoped for.  I flew the drone near the temple, and at one point a couple of the Mormons approached us and speak to us briefly. We thought they’d start talking about their religion, so I ended up landing my drone.  But, in fact, they were just trying to be curious about what we’re doing and were actually friendly and left us alone after few moments. 

A long exposure shot during sunset of Utah’s State Capitol.

James and I continued walking the hilly streets to Utah’s State Capitol. The neighborhood reminds me of Worcester, MA- also hilly and pretty. We saw a rainbow flag hanging on one of the porches- it brought a smile to my face. When we finally reached a perfect corner with the perfect view of the capitol, I took a perfect photo of the building. Thanks to James for patiently waiting.  We took an uber ride to go back to the hotel and the driver confirmed that Salt Lake is pretty much laid-back and nothing really much is happening.

 We rested for a bit and started heading out. We walked around and once again, we all noticed that most of the establishments were closed even before 7PM.  We ended up at the City Creek Center and finally decided to have an ultra boujee Italian dinner (and more cocktails and wine) at Brio. Best way to end this trip. We decided to end the night at the hotel and the next day Buddy brought us to the airport and once more had a last glimpse of the snow-capped landscape. We said adieux but already planning another getaway like this with my new found friends.

Our ultra boujee dinner at Brio Italian Grille.

What a night! still stoked of how beautiful The Arches National Park.

Breaking a Habit

More than two months ago I was re-introduced to playing volleyball again- a sport I used to love and thought I had lost.  To be honest, I was hesitant to play it once more. I have been dodging the invitation multiple times until I finally caved in- of course with the help of a friend.  I doubted myself if I am still in it.  It’s been two decades since I last play.  I doubted that I may not be able to keep up with the rest as they play competitively (so I thought 😉). I simply doubted. 

As we grow old we all get caught up with our lives.  We become comfortable and reluctant to try something new- or revisit the old habits we like some time ago. For some reason unknown, I felt I have been in this kind of spell- I felt that the last few years I have been wrapped by the comfortable routines I have.  I see that there is nothing wrong with that- and for some, routines become their own adventures or challenges. But they shouldn’t be. 

Sunrise at Daytona Beach Volleyball court. 01.15.2020

Yesterday morning around 5AM a colleague and I were chatting online about the toll of the pandemic has taken in both our lives. He mentioned that he was stressed, tired, and joked about how he wished he had gotten to a different field.  I expressed the same sentiments.  We cut the conversation shortly after as we both were getting ready to work- my day 2 for the weekend. Around 7AM at the hospital, there was a code yellow (code for lock down) called overhead. The same colleague I was talking with earlier messaged me that a dead body was found at the parking lot near the emergency room- a man shot himself.  

Mental health is a serious issue.  In this time of uncertainties, it is important that we have an outlet to break a routinary habit. Working in a very stressful environment or sometimes just being at home full time can eventually catch on us mentally, physically and emotionally.  On days I am off from work, I now included volleyball (aside from photography, reading and cooking) a must activity for myself to break my usual daily patterns of home and work. Walk the dogs, read a book, ride a bike, learn another instrument or tool, meet new people, and try new other things just to break the repetitive motion of our lives. 

Lastly, don’t forget to check your spouses and significant others too.  Thankful for my husband (specially last night for asking if I am OK), family and friends that constantly checking on me.  Your thoughtfulness are never gone unnoticed. 

Saltwater Heals Everything

Last Monday I went out for my first shoot of 2021.  I was hoping to immerse atleast my feet to the ravishing waves, to have my 2020 misfortunes be washed away; but instead, I was greeted by the calm and gentle waters that occasionally clash the stilts.  For a moment, I feel that this is what I desire for the new year.  So much emotions (ranging from loneliness, uncertainties, and emptiness) that were piled up in 2020 that even when I tried hard to mask them with positivity, they affect me when the night falls. 

Flagler Beach Pier. Sunrise. 01.04.2021

 About a week ago, I have two different patients that definitely shook all emotions I have been carrying on. I have been sweeping them off under the rug recently as I do not have the time to reflect, and think objectively to resolve them because I am tied up of the holidays. Work had consumed myself as well that I feel like I am in a contained room gasping for air to breathe. And as it happened before, I can only hold so much. 

On Tuesday after Christmas, I was taking care of RM216B. The report I got was that he was a handful, unruly, and non-compliant patient.  A kind of patient that challenges me. He had given me the cold treatment when I introduced myself- not my first though.  Throughout the day, I realized his frustrations- he was diagnosed as deemed incompetent to make medical decisions for himself just because he yelled and cursed all the other staff the previous day when his only wish was to be home.  He cried; and I sat down next to him.  That moment I felt the sincerity in his voice as he uttered, “It’s hard to live when you lost all your family and you are alone.” I found myself sobbing while I comforted him. We didn’t speak a word for a moment, but the presence of each other was enough to give the much-needed support. He apologized after and I said that he didn’t have to.  I left his room- frustrated of his situation, and searching answers for my own. 

The next day, I took care of an 87 years old lady in RM218A who also told me she wanted to go home- after she suffered of stroke-like symptoms.  With limited knowledge of what her discharge plans, I didn’t say any concrete answers but the generic, “I’ll see what I can do.” I learned immediately that the reason was, she had a dying (from Covid) son and all she wanted was with her comforting family. By lunch time, I received a phone call from one of my patient’s children and told me that he passed away. After I say my condolences, she asked if I could help her break the news as she is coming in to see how her mother’s doing but still couldn’t figure out how to tell her of the tragic event. When she arrived, all three of us sat together at bedside and I told her the sad news. In my mind and in my heart, I can’t imagine the devastation my patient felt.  No parent should ever have to outlive their child. As she started weeping, my tears dropped as well.  I stayed briefly and decided to give the mother and daughter their privacy to grieve and talk personally. I walked in to the rest room and gave myself a good cry. I let my tears wash some of my sentiments for a bit. 

Plato once said saltwater cures all ailments of man; I find its true when my anxiety and loneliness strike. The ocean has always been my go-to place When I feel hollow and searching for answers. The waves, seabirds and the sun are the elements I wanted to be surrounded with. Same thing with crying. Shedding some tears makes me feel better. They replace my energy drawn by the kind of work, people, and relationships I deal with. Both brings comfort and calmness to my inner self- then my day starts to brighten up again.

KEEPING THE FAITH

While having lunch at work the other day, a colleague asked me if I ever pray… and if I know how to pray. The manner she asked the question, irked me but answered her respectably nonetheless.  For me, religion and faith are two different things that often times are intertwined when being used. 

 Yes, I know how to pray. I grew up in the Philippines; the only catholic country in southeast Asia which about 80% of its population practice Catholicism. Religion has been instilled in me at early age- my mother was a devout Roman Catholic and my father is a Protestant. I have Religion as a subject matter and as part of my school curriculum both during grade school and high school.  I recited million times the rosary, and many other prayers of the saints. I tended the mass at churches in every part of the world I have lived. I guess that validates that I know how to pray. 

Statue of Father Pedro Camps at Cathedral Basilica of Saint Augustine in St. Augustine, Florida

 Religion is not something I sit down and debate with.  If you look at history, religion had caused many wars and misunderstandings to mankind and still not settled to this day. So, I stay away from arguing with people whose sole purpose is to argue- and put religion on the table to be the subject matter. I do not try and throw my beliefs at others.  I never believe that one religious sect is better than the other. I have tremendous respect for all faiths and beliefs, but have a deep concern that religion and faith are currently along way apart from each other.

As I grow older (and I’d like to think wiser) my faith has evolved.  It is very private to me, it plays an important role in my life. It has gone deeper. While I am thankful that religion has played a significant part molding my spirituality, I stayed out of its superficiality and repetitious practices that overtime become meaningless.

 Life has tested me in so many ways.  I have been in the lowest of my life, and from time to time I experience darkness- or myself drowning in troubled waters.  But it is my belief to something omnipresent that keeps me out of danger.  It is when I keep the faith that better things happen and make sense. I have to have it- we all have to have it. 

Resilience

 The series of grief that has come along the past ten days has been very challenging to me.  On September 3 I was shocked by the news that a dear friend whom I worked in Connecticut (who moved and lived the last couple of years in California) passed away with Covid. This really hit me as this man, who’s age was his only qualification to be a high risk, had no comorbidities.  He wasn’t just fortunate to make it; and such he passed.  My mother has been gone for nine years on September 6. Not a single day I have not thought of her and missed her. Five days ago, I received a text message from one of my closest friends (that moved from MA to FL this year), that his father died. Worse, because of the international travel restrictions due to Corona, he will not be able to go back to the Philippines to pay his final respect. I felt his pain, I have the same predicament when my Mom passed.  I have expressed my sympathy and advised him on what to do so he had some closure. On Wednesday, one of my closest colleagues at work bid goodbye. I saw (and she knew) it coming and it’s only a matter of time, but still that caught me by surprise and felt sorry. 

 I always consider myself as a strong person.  I feel like I handle myself well in crises like these.  Though these affected me tremendously, I continue to carry on.  I tried to. Then all the emotions that I thought I have contained- burst on Thursday.  Something had triggered it and I had a breakdown. I cried out. For some moment I lost it.  My husband hugged me and comforted me as I cried on his chest.  He is my greatest pacifier indeed. Then I feel better again. How long can one endure pains and heartaches before he finally breaks down? I don’t know the exact answer, but I know I am resilient. 

 I decided at that point that I have to do something I am best at so I grabbed my bag and camera and found myself driving to St Augustine. My camera is my sanctuary.  Taking pictures brings me soothing feeling and calms my mind. I did this for almost four hours and drove back and greeted by my husband and dogs as I joined them in the living room. We held hands. The aches didn’t go away totally but somehow I felt relieved.  

Lion’s Bridge. Saint Augustine, FL. 09.10.2020

 “And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive.  You won’t even be sure whether the storm is really over; but one thing is certain: When you come out of the storm, you are not the same person who walked in.  That’s this storm’s all about.” – Haruki Murakami

Go To The Limits Of Your Longing

I was watching the film Jojo Rabbit the other night and at the ending, there was that quote which somehow struck me:  

“Let everything happen to you: Beauty and Terror. 

Just keep going; no feeling is final.” 

 This was an excerpt from the poem, Go To The Limits of Your Longing originally written by an Austrian poet Rainer Maria Rilke during the time of war. It is an inspiring and comforting quote, (so as the entirety of the poem) I thought it was timely both personally and collectively as we are all experiencing different battles. 

 My friend Joe and I were talking about feelings the other day. I mentioned, “sometimes I wish…” and he stopped me talking and told me, “Jun, don’t wish. it will hurt you when you wish.”  As I heard many times the saying “wishing only wounds the heart”, I didn’t understand what exactly Joe meant during our conversation until I was walking to my car that I started reflecting about past experiences.  While most of what I am today are based on dreams, hopes and wishes, there were many times that these also caused me disappointments and heartaches when the outcomes didn’t meet the expectations. While what Joe said was most likely true, isn’t it good (or bad) that sometimes we experience these kinds of feelings? Something I learn early in life is to wallow with my feelings-good or bad. And while absorbing each and every experience, I remember each lessons these experiences brought my life and carry on. This is why the quote made an impact on me because I let everything happen to me. 

 It’s now running to six months since we all first dealt with our new normal with the Covid-19 Pandemic. Hearing the news every day, the virus remains winning with no end in sight as of yet. My feelings about Covid has evolved. This is our war-a different kind.  We face it every day- as a nurse and as an ordinary man- fighting to go back and live the normal life as we used to.  We haven’t found the cure yet, and the horizon may seems to be far at this point; but it isn’t over ‘til it’s over. 

 I searched for the entirety of the poem and pondered upon it before I went to bed that night. The poem basically speaks about the poet’s faith- relying on a higher being while at the same time experiencing life in all its forms- the war in particular during his period. Suitable in this time of our own fights- personally and generally speaking.  

Note to the Reader: The title is not my original, but its from poet’s original poem- Go to the Limits of Your Longing.

Photography has been my safe haven when my mind is troubled… brings me into the right perspective back again. taken during sunrise at Saint Augustine Beach Pier.

Photo Credit: RLabiste

Savannah 2.0

Had you ever felt the sudden urge to escape? That out of the blue, some melancholia struck you and just want to be away and be out of your normal comfort zone?

The past few days I have been experiencing some dysphoria. I don’t exactly know what triggered it (perhaps brought by four month long confinement due to the same Covid-19 situation we have since February and still could not adjust to the new normal), but I felt the need to break away from the new routines for a little bit so I found myself in a quick trip to Savannah.  It is a place I have never been.  Though it was refreshing, the many thoughts of uncertainties came with me on this trip. 

 There are two things that hit me this past week that may have caused me to recharge elsewhere. Both I have no control of, but I fear they will affect me. The first is this continuous pandemic battle; with everyday numbers on the rise- reported cases broken day after day, brought me to a panic mode. I do take this disease seriously. A family member, some friends I know, and colleagues I work with everyday have been inflicted, and I know it’s only a matter of time before it will come to me. The second, perhaps is a minor and selfish one- I have a colleague whom I become close friend with that may quit anytime soon and would work elsewhere. I know her reason and that’s hers to keep, but just the thought of not seeing nor working with her on a schedule- hit me the most. I don’t do well with parting, and that realization made me feel sad and lonely.  

 Recently I took care of a quadriplegic patient for two days. We made a connection as we shared a common ground.  He is originally from Hyannis, MA.  Coincidentally, it is the town we last lived in before heading to Florida. In one of our many conversations, he expressed how much he missed it, and sad that he may no longer be able to go back and see the place because of his health conditions.  I told him how lucky he was as I am a nurse and a landscape photographer on the side and have so many pictures of the town we both know and I am happy to share them to him from my phone. His expression when I told him this, was enough to make my day. That week when I came back to work from a day off, I learned that he was transferred to a Covid unit. Sad- I still think and wish him well.

 These why I ended up in Savannah. A place I know only from the fictional books I read in the past. I quickly walk around admiring and taking in its charm; the River Street with old cobble stones pavement, the canopy trees that cover the streets, historic houses and landmarks. So much to absorb and I felt that the process was cathartic.  It doesn’t take all the loneliness away, but gave me different perspectives on all the situations I was going through. That is how I would like to leave this quaint place too.

Savannah at night. Image of River Street from across Savannah River from Westin Savannah Golf and Resort Spa. Taken at 10PM after a heavy rain. Peaceful and tranquil… Just so much to admire.

Love is Love

Love is Love. 

Today marks my 7th wedding anniversary to my husband Bob.  As I wake up and reminisce, it seems like it was only yesterday.  June 15, 2013 at eleven in the morning to be exact, we tied the knot at the beautiful Harding Allen Estate in Massachusetts.  

I could say that our story was not a walk in the park as we have faced many challenges along the way. The long distance, the language barrier, the difference in cultural backgrounds to name a few. But being gay and being part of the LGBTQ community perhaps was the biggest hurdle we had.  Our family and friends know the ordeal of our story; on how difficult the pursuit of happiness in the land of the free as a gay person. 

To some that barely know us, Bob and I met sixteen years ago when marriage equality was still a discussion in this country. At that time, being in love is not enough for us to get married. Because of the then Defense of Marriage Act Law (which defined as marriage only between man and woman), we can’t just walk down the aisle and live under one roof like any man and woman that share the same love.  Instead, ours was threatened to come to an end because of what the law said and not what our hearts dictate. Not being born from the US soil made it more difficult in my end so we kept our relationship on the down low. With faith and love, our patience came into fruition when the stars aligned together for us in 2013- the year that the US Supreme Court granted same sex the equal rights to marriage. Surrounded by family and great friends, we said, “I do.”  

That was seven years ago.  Looking back at the picture as a whole, our marriage will not be possible if not for the collective efforts initiated by Human Rights and Marriage Equality fighting for what is lawfully right to every citizen of this country. Marriage equality for everyone regardless of sex, gender and ethnic origin.   But mostly, we may never made it if one of us gave less effort or had given up fighting  to make our hopes and dreams become reality. In the end, love always wins. 

Happy Anniversary to my husband and Happy Pride Month to our LGBTQ family!!!❤️🌈❤️🌈

Sunset at Old Pier at the River Walk. Sanford, FL. 06-08-2020

This long exposure photo taken after a heavy rain depicts tranquility and calmness of the water after the storm. Similar to what we’ve been through in the last sixteen years as a gay couple. I would like to think that the old pier was like our relationship that is able to weather al the elements that came through. The sunset is the beautiful reward after the storm.

MY DOUBLE FOUR DAY

It is my birthday.  And while the world remains in a health alarm with Covid-19 pandemic, I try to cautiously free myself of worries…at least for today, cause it’s my special day 😀.

 One of my fondest memories when I was little is how simple my birthday was celebrated. In early morning, my mom would wake and dress me up in a decent shirt and jeans then bring me to the church to give thanks for another well life lived and will be off to the market and I would enjoy my favorite menu from the “Turo-Turo” (food stalls located anywhere including wet and dry markets in the Philippines were you can select pre-made dishes). I never had those big lavish birthday celebrations with confetti and balloons attended by many children and adults with matching gifts. In the corner of the Turo-Turo was where I get to enjoy myself eating my favorite Palabok (a relative of Pancit/Noodle for my non-Filipino friends and readers) while she ran her motherly chores ‘til she comes back to pick me up and go back home. As I get older, the celebrations become mainstream- but the former was still the best 😀.

 My birthday coincides with Labor Day- a non-working holiday in the Philippines so that was an extra treat. When I moved in the US, Labor Day isn’t until the first Monday of September and so my special day becomes ordinary. Most of my birthdays, as long as I live here, falls on the days I am scheduled to work.  Working on my birthday gives me extra perks because I get to have a free birthday cake that my colleagues usually bring, and endless greetings from all the patients I take care of.  I wonder how they knew 😀.

 Bob and I have been good in celebrating our birthdays together.  The past years were carefully planned travel destinations topped with fancy restaurant dinners. None of those today. The unresolved pandemic remains a threat and with all the restaurants being closed, I put together what I collectively learn from my culinary classes and experience to create a special meal; tonight I will take it easy 😀.

 I cannot recall the last I asked for any expensive gifts, and some people look forward to opening generous presents on their special day; but I don’t.  Perhaps with limited means growing up, I don’t really ask for much. I take wishes of good health instead- which to me is always important 😀.  

 For many, having to add another year on their lives is worrisome- age stresses them out. I see it the other way around.  I have been constantly rediscovering myself and it always begin on my birthday. I am humbled to have so many milestones in the last fifteen years and it always feel like it only happened yesterday; sort of like time is irrelevant 😀.  

 Happy Birthday to me!!!🎂

 “There is a fountain of youth: It is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” -Sophia Loren 

Fontain des Mers. Paris, May 2018.

I learn from somewhere that if you toss a coin to a fountain, it will bring you good health and fortune.

My Thoughts and Covid-19

It was early in December when I first learned about Corona virus.  I first seen and heard it from the television when it first broke the news some seven thousand miles away, in Wuhan China. It didn’t bother me at that time as there was little information about it. And just like other medical practitioners that are immune to hearing news about other illnesses, I also shrugged the news off. Fast forward to three months, the virus was officially a pandemic and has affected the world and our country- our state is not an exception. As I write this blog, CNN reports that there are 5,473 reported cases in Florida 65 are in the Volusia county and sadly there were 70 unfortunate people who didn’t make it to recovery. 

 The pandemic easily altered our daily habits. What usually calm and relaxing mornings in my household are now replaced of television broadcast of cringing accounts about COVID-19.  The reports of exponential growth in numbers of the people that fall ill daily makes me anxious.  The past weeks are just nothing but information of uncertainties and panic.  People hoard. And at work every day, the standards of practice change because the CDC guidelines rapidly change as well.  It’s like a war scene where everyone is in a survival mode. 

 Nearly two weeks ago Bob and I decided to push through with our planned trip to Cancun despite the travel advise to cancel non-essential travels placed around the globe. I easily feel guilty for something I deliberately done. And not to sound like I am trying to justify our decision to go on the trip, we actually tried every effort to cancel our flight.  It was just that the circumstances we met along the way were not favorable for us and so we bit the bullet. 

 On usual pleasure trips like this our goal is to see places we’ve never been or go back to the ones we liked from previous trip.  This time that wasn’t the case.  With a bit of guilt from traveling despite of the ban, and the paranoia of contracting Covid-19, we decided to just stay in our resort and enjoy the R&R moment we planned.  Not totally detaching to reality, Bob and I took this opportunity to ponder among things we are both grateful for.  One night after dinner we walked the shore and just listened to the sound of roaring waves.  Because of the breeze he decided to go back to our room but I stayed and strode the beach in solitude and contemplated. I can’t believe how fast the world has changed in just few months. 

 As we came back from the trip we are faced with new norms.  Bob is working at home which length is still to be determined.  I am back with my regular schedule in the hospital with continuing twists on standards of practice. The most that struck me though is the “social distancing” and must admit, it is challenging for most to adapt. It is sad. We all don’t know when this going to end, the uncertainties make most of us scared and fearful. But two things we should constantly hold- faith and hope. Once, I came across a quote from a health educator Brandon A. Trean, “It is how we embrace the uncertainty in our lives that leads to the great transformations of our souls.” 

This image I took while at a recent trip in Cancun is my own photographic representation of Social Distancing. While all the elements are far from each other, still you can admire their beauties. And though the current mood is dark, the unspoken understanding that on the horizon, there is light.

Night Photography. Cancun, Mexico March 18, 2020.

To New Beginnings

To New Beginnings…

 During new year, I often look back to reflect upon the blessings and the good things that happened to myself and my family. I also reflect upon the not so good things- and think about the lessons I learned from those experiences.  Combining them together is always a win-win situation. I take them to the next chapter of my life’s story and hope to use them when similar situations take place. 

 Two weeks ago, I took care of a 57-year old gentleman who was primarily diagnosed with Prostate Abscess with TURP (Transurethral Resection of the Prostate) procedure done. I didn’t have an immediate connection with him- I was his third nurse. And getting reports from previous nurses, sometimes give you preconceived ideas about the person, so I distanced myself.  The second day while giving medications he asked me where I was originally from so I told him that I was from the Philippines.  That was our connection.  As we conversed, he mentioned that he had a girlfriend that was from the Philippines but broke up with him after being together for eight years. He started opening up and told me that all his medical conditions started coming out since his break up and he just went downward spiral since then.  That moment I know that this patient is not just struggling with his current medical condition but is also suffering from depression.  So we talked and give him unsolicited encouragement like any nurse does. The next two days I noticed the change in his outlook.  He was not as grouchy as the previous days. When his family came, I updated them.  They validated that my patient has been sad since his relationship went south. I extended them my words of encouragement as well. I have him for another two days after my day off and continued connecting. I sensed that he trusted the way I took care of him so I didn’t get the attitude I got from the reports of my fellow nurses. The day after Christmas, I came back to work from being off during the holidays. I was surprised that he was still admitted- but he wasn’t in my assignment; and glad to know that he is being discharged later that day.  I made sure that I saw him before he went home and gave him my last piece of advice- to look forward and anticipate the greater things; with positive outlooks come positive outcomes.  He shook my hand and thanked me. His mother and step father thanked me as well. I volunteered to wheel him down the lobby where his ride was waiting so I could continue giving him pieces of advice until he got into his family’s car. As I walk back to my unit, I have this sense of pride because I knew somehow I made an impact and a fresh new start is ahead of this patient that I just sent home. 

 About the same time two weeks ago Bob and I also completed another milestone as we closed and bought our home here in Florida.  It took 10 months since all these started.  Around February of 2019 when we first contemplated of moving to somewhere warmer; took two weeks laying out the plan- then we called our realtor to start the process of listing our Cape Cod home for the Spring market.  Not long after that, we received an offer and started packing. In June, before the start of summer, we began our journey. We temporarily rented a house while our home is being built. Six months later,  we opened the front door of our Florida home.  Finally, we are officially Florida residents. This is our new beginning.

 Have a blessed New Year Everyone!!! 

Sunrise at Light House State Park Beach, Ponce Inlet, FL January 02, 2020

Beacon of Hope

I never really paid attention to my assignments when I work as I believe that any patient that comes and admitted to the hospital needs necessary medical care. But the past few weeks, I noticed that they always include young, thirty to forty something year old patient that share one commonality- substance abuse. I have them in the past too, but I never have that precise account in the seriousness of their problems until I have this patient in my assignment three days ago.

 For a brief background, she’s thirty-eight years old, mother of two. She is also homeless and did not relate her working status; but I assume she’s jobless too based on how she narrated her typical day. The first day I have her as a patient she was mostly asleep; only opens her eyes when she’s due for her supplemental medications. The second day she was more awake; able to converse and her symptoms are more evident-she was withdrawing. While on rounds with one of our doctors, I was dumbfounded by the information she narrated to us. She is a long time Heroin user and shoots three to six times a day. The day she brought herself to the emergency department, she dosed herself three times.  I was speechless the entire time she unfolded her story. When the doctor told her his plan of action and left the room, I stayed.  She was crying and uttering to herself that she needs to stop this, but doesn’t know how. I remained quiet and patted her shoulder.  When I have no appropriate advice to give, I keep my silence; and sometimes silence is just the best piece of advice. I was a bit overwhelmed when I walked out of the room and can only imagine what she’s going through; the hardship and the life struggles she is on. 

 I grew up in another country- a third world country.  My life struggle was quite different from my patient’s. Mine was a basic life struggle. But I have my beacon of hope.  Seeing and experiencing poverty first hand aspired me to become better as I grow up.  I remember as a kid, I used to answer, “I wanted to be a doctor” when asked of the question, “What I would like to become when I grow up?”  But as I get older, that became a distant reality. But I never gave up on my dreams. Nursing is the closest I become to a doctor.  I heal people too, only in a different way, and I am proud of it.  

 When I went back to my patient’s room, she was calmer. I also caught her staring at the window.  This was my cue to share my story and my life struggles.  I told her that we all have crosses of different weights to carry and our life experiences maybe different but one thing she should look is the promise of hope that it can change for the better. I suggested to search for her inner self… her younger self that is full of hopes and dreams.

 On my final round before the change of shift, she thanked me. I am not sure how determine she wants to change her life when she gets discharge and that is her own call. But I felt the sincerity in her. And until someone thanked you from the bottom of her heart, you’ll never know how much you touched her life.

What Are You Grateful For?

 The past two months this question, “What are you grateful for?” has become part of my daily mantra as a nurse and as a person. Not that I am not grateful of all the good things that life has brought and continuously bringing onto me- but this time I begin to live more with the consciousness of asking myself at the end of the day and before I sleep- of things, events, and people that I am thankful for. 

 Reading my previous blogs you would learn that our family moved from Massachusetts to Florida; that I started a new job; and if you read more from the archives, I have expressed that sometimes I have the second thought of changing my career. For those who don’t know, nursing is a stressful job and every now and then, the least rewarded too.  With little appreciation, sometimes that breaks someone’s spirit.  When I came on board with my new job, I thought it will be no different from the past I had. One thing that makes it distinct from my previous place of work, is the huddle. For those who’s unfamiliar and for short definition, huddle is what nurses do before/after a shift starts/ends.  We talk about highlights of the shift. With my experience in the past, what I mostly hear during huddle were things nurses fell short. In some but not most occasions there are simple praises. What happens during huddle sets the tone of what a nurse’s day will likely be.  This is the part that I struggle with sometimes. 

 Five weeks of orientation to a new job made me realized the unique experience of a huddle. It starts with the two questions: “Who are you grateful for?” and “Who connected with a patient?”  The first question pertains to someone that made an impact on your day- a fellow nurse, an aide, a therapist or anybody that made your shift a lot easier. The second question is about who made a good relationship with a patient- someone that you learned more about in the 12hr shift. Between the two, the former made the most impact for me personally and as a nurse for the reason that it is a different experience from what I have in the past. That simple question is encouraging and leads to a positive feeling to start a day.  Even though that my name is not called, it is equally impactful to know that someone felt appreciated from lending another hand to a colleague.  It is a rewarding feeling.  Little did I know, I look forward to huddle. 😉

 The same question I ask myself when I wake up. On a personal level, there are so much I am grateful for. I feel blessed that I have a partner and two dogs that make up my family.  They are my rocks and pillars that make me great. I am thankful to have a rewarding job with fantastic and wonderful colleagues that help me continuously grow as a nurse. I am happy that I have dependable and encouraging friends that serve as my support group in every endeavor I embark. And lastly, I am mostly grateful that we are blessed with a beautiful planet. With my evolving passion with photography, I am able to capture its natural wonders.